Rash Compassion

In the final battle of the final movie in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Return of the King, Aragorn rallies the Army of the West before the dreaded Black Gate of Mordor. Facing an insurmountable enemy army, Aragorn looks back at his soldiers one last time, whispers "For Frodo," and plunges into battle and certain death.

It is not the men who immediately run after Aragorn, however. Following close on his heels are two hobbits, Merry and Pippin, their small stature framed in stark relief against the enormity of the challenge. This ridiculous contrast, of course, is entirely the point. It is their rash compassion and reckless loyalty that makes them so inspiring and heroic. And of course, it pays off, because the enemy's hold on power was far more precarious than anyone thought.

Imagine, for a moment, if Merry and Pippin had considered a more well-informed path. Imagine if they had hung back while Aragorn plunged ahead, weighing their options and awaiting full understanding of the situation, hesitating in order to educate themselves. Perhaps understandable, but it would have made for a terrible movie. And, it would have made them terrible friends. Broken fellowship, indeed.

An embattled transgender community

In the wake of the United States 2024 election, the transgender community and their allies face what appears to be an insurmountable situation. As of today, 830 bills targeting trans and gender nonconforming people have been introduced in the US.

We are alarmed by these accelerating trends, and we are alarmed by indications that once dependable allyship may be disappearing. We are furious that the far right somehow managed to hijack the conversation, their focus on an inflammatory few now dictating the basic rights of many. We marvel, as always, at how the transgender community maintains its hold on humanity, often with humor and joy and always with fierce loyalty and honesty.

It's not about comprehension, it's about compassion

We are also alarmed by something quieter but just as damaging: allies who hang back, wringing their hands and protesting that they "don't yet understand" and "need more information" before throwing their support behind transgender folks.

Since when is understanding a prerequisite for compassion?

During the 2024 Summer Olympics, Kara Goucher interviewed Nikki Hiltz, a transgender and nonbinary middle distance runner who holds the American record in the mile and competed for the United States in the Olympics. "There's some people who just don't understand," Goucher said. "What would you say to someone like that, who just throws up their hands, 'I don't understand it.' What would you say?" Hiltz responded:

Yeah, I would say, I don't care if you understand it or not. It's not about comprehension, it's about compassion. If someone's asking you, Hey, I go by Michael but I want to be called Mike, you don't go, Why would you want to be called that? No, you say, Oh, ok! and you have compassion for them.

It's the same thing. I'm in the women's category. I was assigned female at birth, but I don't want to be called she/her, my pronouns are they/them, and that's how I want to be referred to. So it's like, Oh, ok! Got it. Like, it's not that deep.

It's not about comprehension, it's about compassion. It's not about comprehension, it's about compassion. It's not about comprehension, it's about compassion.

Rash Compassion

So let us be clear. Affirming Quakers is adopting a policy of rash compassion in our objective to celebrate and support the LGBTQ+ community.

Rash /adj/. 1. Marked by, or proceeding from, undue haste or lack of deliberation or caution. 2. Quickly effective.

Our compassion is rash and reckless, hasty and prior to deliberation. Our compassion is without caution and therefore quickly effective. We run headlong into battle first and understand second. We educate ourselves but do not hide behind our love of education to justify non-action.

Look: no one values education more than Affirming Quakers. All four founding members either currently are, or have been, educators. Amongst the four of us, we have seven (and counting) advanced degrees. We understand and value education, and we will provide it and specifically dedicate the immediate future to resources that celebrate and support transgender and nonbinary communities. Start here, with Transgender and Nonbinary People FAQ from a trusted resource, Human Rights Campaign, which we have added to our AQ Database.

But it is another thing entirely to twist education into a mask to cover all manner of evil: cowardice, selfishness, transphobia. Too many allies continue to weigh their options on the sidelines while the trans community suffers.

If it is time to go, go

So let us be clear on this as well: Affirming Quakers supports the transgender community. If you do not, this is not the place for you. If you withhold compassion until you have reached an undefined threshold of "understanding the trans issue," and in the meantime watch disinterestedly while others suffer, then you are not welcome here.

We have written before about the myth of "all are welcome," when we clarified that all aren't welcome at Affirming Quakers, because our beloved community is like a table.

Ours is like any table: you are welcome to join us, but wash your hands first, and please, let's all agree that you shouldn't prop your muddy boots next to the silverware. Once bound by rules of common decency, then—and obviously, only then—join us!

Unlike evangelical Quaker churches, Affirming Quakers does not rely on attendance and tithing to survive, and unlike evangelical Quaker churches, we face no pressure to compromise our core beliefs to maintain those attendance and tithing levels. If you don't agree to these rules of common decency and our policy of rash compassion, then go. There are a thousand transphobic churches who would love to have you.

But if you are interested in rash compassion, then it is time to fight. It is time to be visible. Get ready to run into a battle that seems unwinnable, but I suspect our enemies' hold on power is far thinner than they think. How rash. How reckless. And how very, very loving.